need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
