im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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