I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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