i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
