started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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