your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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