It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
