walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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