shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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