Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
