i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
