Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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