Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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