North Korea, Best Korea!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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