Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I smell like Dick and happiness
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
