Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
