We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He shit in the fireplace
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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