The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
