why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
