batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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