you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
