dude i'm inner monologue high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
