If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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