dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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