We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
