I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
