Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
