how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
