No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
