So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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