Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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