Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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