when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
