i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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