Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
