hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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