why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
