here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize