??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
