Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
