come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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