Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You're like the curious george of whores
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
