ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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