The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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