And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
