There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
