the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
