I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
