No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
