thus making me awesome and them whores
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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