just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
