Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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